10 types of articles you definitely find in your feed

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Oh wait! That was just a clickbait. I don’t really have 10 of them or do I? Let’s find out

  1. ‘N type’ articles

I’m not sure who started this trend but you’ll definitely come across one of these articles in milliseconds right after opening Facebook. When people run out of headings, they just count the points in their article and use it as heading.

Examples:

  • 12 types of men you’ll see in offices(I mean c’mon, every creature is different in this corporate circus and you identified just 12?)
  •  19 songs you may want to listen over weekend( Don’t you even dare to listen to 20th one)

itMcsy5

 

  1. Beauty articles

So, there are roughly some 10 remedies overall which actually work and everyone who writes these beauty articles just rewrites them by adding a couple more ingredients. These articles are kinda subset for ‘N type’ articles.

Examples:

  • 16 tricks that makes your skin glow(12 of them contains honey with random shit)
  •  21 drinks that makes you look younger( 19 of them is water)
BNI-honey-lemon-face-pack

Honey is Bae

  1. Health articles:

These articles are really interesting. I click on every one of them for myself or to just BS in front of my friends. Let’s analyze these with an example

‘5 techniques that helps you lose weight without doing anything’. This is the heading and the 5 techniques will be like

  1. Avoid Carbs
  2. Drink green tea 4-5 times a day
  3. Avoid sweets and other sugars
  4. Eat only boiled vegetables and eat on time
  5. Do 60-70 mins workout per day

Wowww!!!! Why don’t you add a sixth and ask for my first born child?

I mean, Come on!!! That’s not doing nothing, that’s doing everything.

Again this is subset of ‘N type’.

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  1. Gossip articles:

These articles are really something. They’ll come with additional tag like ‘Fourth one is outrageous’. Sometimes I wonder are these actually true or the writer just being a fan fiction writer. These articles get more views than any other.

These articles are not subset of ‘N type’ all the time but they intersect in the venn diagram sometimes.

jim-halpert-computer

  1. Food recipes:

If you live for food like me, you’ll definitely like these. It’s interesting to read them but some of them really confuse us and question our standard of living. For example, let’s see this one

’13 easy breakfasts you can prepare when you’re in hurry’

Wow! That’s nice. I can try these. Let me check the recipes.

  1. Soak the oats overnight. Boil the avocados for 20 mins and blend them into paste. Now toast your bread and spread the avocado paste over it. Not done yet. Now shred some cheese over it and microwave for 5 mins. Now add that ice cream you made last night(If you dint make the icecream last night, make it now) Freeze the breakfast for 20 mins and add some chocolate syrup over it. That’s it. Oh yeah! Soaked oats. Throw it away or something.

Thanks Man! I kinda gotta office to attend. By the way how is this an easy-to-make breakfast again? They sell damn idli dosa batters readymade and we don’t have bloody time to make them.

Hey!!Hey!! wait Maybe the other article will be useful. It says ’19 healthy smoothies you can make instantly’

Cool. Let’s check them

  1. Raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, blackberry, apple iphone 6S(with charger and earphones).Blend them all in the blender and add some yogurt or ice cream and don’t forget to add blood of your enemies.

Thanks Mate! If I’ve enough money to buy all those berries, I’ll be living like a celebrity(Almost All berries are expensive in India)

So again, most of the time these articles are subset of ‘N type’

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  1. You won’t believe articles:

I really like these guys. They are honest and warning us beforehand that we won’t believe. I’m not sure what they actually mention inside because I never read them. Look,  they frankly stated that I won’t believe and I don’t really go near things I don’t believe. You know, trust is kinda everything for me. What can I say?

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You can fill this section if you got any leads.

  1. Do you know articles:

It is so cute that they always try to test our general knowledge. They make us feel important for a while like how our grandfather feel when we tell him ‘Grandpa! Do you know that Grandma gave birth to daddy?’

It’s not bad, they’ve too much enthu in life. Pretty impressive.

Taking as example, I’ve gone through a certain article named ‘You won’t believe that Ms. A acted in these movies. #4 is a movie that nobody knows.’

First of all! Great job writing article from your nest which is under the rock.

Second of all! Somebody might be knowing about that movie. Maybe Actors in it or atleast the director.(BTW! That #4 was my favorite movie when I was a kid).

shocked

  1. Fake articles:

These articles became really famous in past few years. Sometimes they scare the shit out of you with fake election results and movie news. If you’re used to it, it’s fun to read them and you’ll differentiate them from the original ones. But God save those cute little ‘new to social media’ souls who are trying to get the money out of ATM using PAN card.

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  1. Told ya I don’t have 10
  2. Come on Guys, Believe me! I don’t have 10

How the two epics Lion King and Bahubali are related

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How the two epics Lion King and Bahubali are related

1.First of all let’s start with the mighty king ‘Mufasa’ vs ‘Amarendra Bahubali’

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2.The Villain brother ‘Scar’ and ‘Bhallala deva’. FYI Rana got a scar across his face too. God knows why. Wait. I don’t think even God knows, SSR knows 😛

3.The baby prince introduction. You gotta be lifted to sky if you are a epic movie hero 😛

‘Baby Simba’ vs ‘Baby Bahubali’

  1. The mother who lives as Villain’s prisoner and being tortured

“Sarabi” vs ‘DevaSena’

  1. And the young couple who start with a fight and end up falling in love.

‘Simba-Nala’ vs ‘Sivudu-Avanthika’. And heroine is the reason he returns to the kingdom.

 

6.The Timon and Pumba who takes care of the Hero.

It’s a funny thought and we were excited while finding these similarities yet with lot of difference. After all nothing can replace these two Masterpieces.(Hoping Bahubali-2 replaces the first part though:P)

If you find more similarities, let me know in comments.

Cheers,

S.

 

Couple leave Multiplex without paying for popcorn, management claims losses worth 50k

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Faking news link

Bangalore. Spendmax, a popular multiplex in the city was robbed during broad daylight by a couple of unknown persons. After verifying everything, manager claimed that the loss was around 50,000 rupees.

Later police filed an FIR and reported that 2 popcorn tubs, 2 Pepsi 250ml bottles, and one small plate of nachos were stolen causing the huge losses.

The incident occurred on Saturday afternoon when the multiplex was totally busy with almost half of the Bangalore population. As per the information from staff, the robbers booked movie tickets at the counter itself. The robbery was noticed after the show completed and everyone had left.

Some details are still unclear and it turned little difficult for police to trace the suspects.  They found information about some people who booked tickets through internet and started investigating them one by one.

World's most expensive sight.
World’s most expensive sight.

Bunny, who recently lost his Innova to pay for the internet handling charges at lootmyshow.com, told Faking News, “I sat next to those two through the show but didn’t hear anything about plotting the robbery. They told me that they booked the tickets at the counter, and I kept crying most of the time that how dumb I must be to think that I won’t get tickets at show time. Now I’m taking BMTC buses and that too Non AC ones, because my wife is forcing me to save for the next car.” He continued crying.

Akhil, the guy who sat behind robbers, talked to the officers and recorded his statement.

“I actually won my ticket for this show after I ordered 1 mini veg biryani worth Rs 3500 from eatandwin.com. I went to the movie with a lot of excitement which only lasted for 20 mins. Later I started enjoying the adorable crying of the 3 month old from my back seat. I couldn’t even hear the words from movie. How am I supposed to listen to those robbers?” Akhil explained how he had no idea.

Later the police started questioning the cleaning department. They stated that they retrieved all the empty popcorn tubs, Pepsi glasses, and nachos plates, but they couldn’t find the stolen ones. Thus the police concluded that the suspects committed a clean crime without leaving any traces.

This news has irked the multiplex associations around the world. They extended their moral support to the victim multiplex. State government too has passed special orders to police department to find the culprits.

Meanwhile all the IT companies in Bangalore are also trying to find the culprits, so that they can hire them to teach the popcorn stealing techniques to their lowly paid employees.

Facebook to send professional photographers to cover weddings of users

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Faking news link

wedding hands

Hyderabad. In a major step aimed at winning Indian users, Facebook has launched a special service for its users to reduce the burden of taking and updating their wedding photographs on the social networking website.

Sources tell Faking News that Facebook decided to launch a service after it’s research department concluded that many users, especially from India, were using Facebook primarily to share pictures related to their personal lives. Wedding photos were found to be the most active and frequent activity.

Kalyan has 6 years of ultimate experience in uploading pictures of every wedding he attends. Not only that, he is also the most blocked person in his friend circle. All these qualifications were considered thoroughly before making him head of “Project Wedbook”.Kalyan Kumar, who works for Facebook India, came up with this idea. The manager of Hyderabad office had forwarded this project to Mark Zuckerberg last year. As Mark was busy uploading his own wedding pictures at that time, he approved this project immediately, making Kalyan the project head.

Kalyan recently shared the details of this project on his Facebook page. According to that, the Project Wedbook includes the following services:

1. Facebook will send world’s best photographers, equipped with the latest DSLR cameras and lighting equipment, to your wedding after you create a Facebook event at least one month in advance.

2. Each and every picture taken at the wedding will be uploaded on groom’s and bride’s profiles within seconds, tagging every possible person in friend’s list.

3. For an extra fee, Facebook will send top Indian film directors to direct the expressions of bride and groom in a cinematic ways so that “made for each other” and “awwww” level pictures are secured.

4. Special software will be used to enhance selected pictures and videos, making the groom dance better than Hrithik and bride look prettier than Aishwarya during sangeet. On special request, videos of sangeet can be taken using special effects like dinosaurs, dragons, and unicorns in background, dancing on Bollywood numbers (Even if you’re from South India, you need to dance only on Bollywood tracks).

5. If the groom is a limited edition (IIT+IIM) type, a special package will be offered to him by Facebook, making that particular wedding album the only thing everyone sees in his or her news feed for at least a week, so that all the single friends can die peacefully with jealously.

6. Under this service, a special Facebook page dedicated to the couple will also be created, which will be by default ‘liked’ by all the friends. This will make sure that friends don’t miss being bombarded with further pictures related to the marriage such as honeymoon pics, first house pics, first car pics, and first baby pics.

Note:  Charges will be collected from bride’s father at any cost if the groom’s family refuses to pay.

Meanwhile, to counter Facebook’s move, Twitter is mulling over starting a project of sending celebrities to the weddings of its users. If they don’t agree, Twitter will remove their verified accounts and unleash trolls in their mentions.